Lesson: Two underlings are better than one.

Good news, I could hire another freelancer. Love the power. Now I can "delegate" even more.

Guess all my visits to Cynthia's office during lunch time, wailing "I feel faint..." worked. She thinks I never eat lunch because I'm just soo dedicated to my work. Hah, if I were her size, I probably wouldn't. Passive-agressiveness pays off with her.

Ahh, how should I pit the newbie against my current freelancer? Take one to lunch and not the other? Let it slip that they're paid different rates? Invite one to a meeting and ignore the other? The possibilities are so numerous I might need to go out for a smoke to think about them all.

Lesson: Power is not given, it's taken.

I got to work early today and quickly made my morning round of kissing up to Cynthia, my evil boss and my mentor. You have to learn from the best to become the worst.

I shut the door, this way, other people might think something is up. Creating an atmosphere of paranoia is the formost requirement for Ms. Machiavelli.

"Found good help yet?" I asked her. Thanks to me, her fourth assistant in 8 monthes just quit last week.

Cynthia shook her head. Yesss, having her restless and confused serves me well.

I consider myself the boss of everyone who has an assistant in his/her title. The first few times you order someone around, conscience might kick in, but your inner evil will soon come out. Give it time, and it will grow. Evil takes nurturing, just like love.

I then swung by the desk of my favorite lapdog, an idiot I'll call Stuart. He is very trainable. I already got him to accidentally not include Evelyn in a meeting invite. Evelyn showed up late, while I was deep into my presentation. Someone else did the work on the powerpoint anyway. But still, how rude of Evelyn to not respect Cynthia's schedule. Guess who is not going on the retreat this year? I had to stop grinning. Ahh, life is good.